Jack Milo's Birth Story

After writing Ella's birth story, I decided to do one for each of the boys around their birthdays. I actually have some down time since the boys are at Grandma and Grandpa Berendsen's, so I thought I'd do it now.

August 16, 2003

We bought a new car! Well, new to us. My husband just couldn't think of bringing a baby into this world and hauling it around in a 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlas Siera, which was well taken care of, but beginning to be a real pain in the butt. So there we are weeks from having a family, signing papers. Its so nice to know we will be able to drive to Alabama in the fall for Richard's(my brother in law) wedding and not break down along the way.

August 17, 2003

Today was the day I picked for Jack to arrive, but it looks like this day will too pass me by. We decided to take a drive down to Yankton to show our parents the new ride. It was a nice opportunity to spend some good quality driving time together and keep my mind of when the baby would arrive. Lewis and I have always loved to drive and talk. Some of our best conversations happen on the road. Who knew it would be so hard to do that once a baby comes.

August 18,2003

Three 10 hour days in a row!?! I'm 38 weeks pregnant, or 39, depending on who you ask. What was Tami, the gal who was making the schedule, thinking? I was NOT looking forward to taking care of 10 two year olds in the hot summer, with a huge protruding belly, at least, not for 30 hours in 3 days.

August 19, 2003

I had my Dr. app today. I was 1 cm, and 75% effaced or something like that. I asked her if she could strip my membranes so I could overt working another 10 hour day and completely killing myself. She did. She warned me that it may hurt, but I don't remember it being that big of a deal. It was more painful with Will, if I remember correctly.

I went home, took a long walk, about 1.5 miles and a nice relaxing bath before heading out to our mandatory clean up night at work. We were deep cleaning and organizing closets and getting ready for our fall kick off. I told the gals at work that my doctor stripped my membranes. Kim, a coworker, was all excited and said "you better tell the boss you won't be in tomorrow". Really? I didn't think getting your membranes stripped was such a big deal. "Does it work that fast?", I remember thinking. Apparently, I wasn't very educated in that area of pregnancy and delivery.

As I was cleaning I remember a wave of energy come over me. It was a indescribable feeling that I remember some women trying to explain. They said it was your body's entrance into labor, hormones or blood flow or something. But I remember trying to shrug if off, as to not get my hopes up.

August 20, 2003

1am: BOOM! Loud crash of thunder, and a tightening in my belly which wrapped around to my back. This wasn't always new to me, Braxton Hicks contractions had haunted me for months. But when these became somewhat painful and every 10 minutes I began to take notice. I got out of bed and went to the basement to time the contractions and watch some t.v. while I figure out what was going on. A week ago, it went like this and nothing come of it. So I wasn't sure if this was real or not.

My contractions were about 15 minutes apart, and I had noticed some of my mucus plug letting loose. I called my mom to let her know things were getting started. She said to call back if they got closer together and then she would come up. By 3 am they were to 7 minutes apart. I called my mom and sister to update them and they got up and were on their way. I took a shower and laid back on the couch for a while, I watched a move and some Birth Story shows that are on super early in the morning. The pain was managable and I didn't really even have to breath through them. It was just a very tight sensation. I like a really tight hug with a menstral cramp all around my waist and back.

At 5 am I decided I should eat something, so I opted for some toast and juice. I went and told Lewis that I was in labor. My mom and sister arrived shortly after. Then around 8 am it happened, the worst thing to mess with your mind. They stopped. They just plain old stopped. Nothing, no more contractions! I was still having the bloody show, but no more contractions. By this time Lewis had called his mom, she was on her way, I have an audience, but now performance. I was beyond frustrated.

Walking is supposed to help a stalled labor, but it was so hot, the only place to walk was the mall. So around 9:30 we headed over to the mall to do some laps, packed up with towels and extra clothes just in case my water broke. I remember feeling so helpless. All I wanted was to not feel all this pressure to perform and have this baby. If I could have only send them home, or not been in such a big hurry to call everyone in the first place. All I wanted was to have my husband comfort me, have the doctor give me some information. But for now, I felt alone, trying to give these people what they came for and I had absolutly no control.

We were only there long enough to buy a blanket I had wanted for Jack and make 2 rounds, then I became paranoid that my water was going to break there on the floor. When I got home I called over the the hospital to explain the situation. The nurse said if I wasn't having contractions there was no reason to come over, but I explained that I was still bleeding. She said I could come and get checked. So at noon, Lewis, my mom, and I went over. We left the things in the car just in case they were going to send me home.

When I arrived they checked me into our room and found I was 3 cm dilated. The nurses called over to my doctor who gave the go ahead to keep me since I had progressed 2 cm in just a day. The nurse broke my water at 1 and then I thought I was going to die! Seriously, no one told me it was going to hurt so bad so quickly. I was naive, and didn't know how to have a baby. I just laid in bed, on my back, with the monitors on me. Just waiting until I was 4 cm and could have my epidural. I didn't know how people could do this without drugs. I later learned that I was in the worst position I could have been in. Gee, thanks Labor and Delivery nurses for being so helpful!

For 3 hours I had been waiting for my drugs, and finally at 4:00 I got them. It was relief, I could sleep. I had been awake since 1 am, and it had been a long emotional journey to even get to this point. After I received the drugs, I was in and out of sleep. I remember my mom watching the Twins play baseball, my mother in law reading the paper, and my sister and my husband keeping themselves entertained with all kinds of strange antics. But other those few incidences, being checked, and a nurse exchange, it was all sleep. Which was nice, but I knew I didn't want that for my other births.

At 10:00 I woke up and was feeling pressure, no pain, but lots of pressure. I was still pretty sleepy, so I just laid there and waited for the nurse to come back in. I figured I'd just let them know when they came back in. At about 10:30 she came in and I told her how I was feeling, she checked me and he was right there. She called the doctor and I began pushing. Dr. Broderson was there within 10 minutes, my baby was not. I pushed for 25 minutes and at 10:52 little Jack Milo made his entrance. His cry was so low and horse, he was perfect and looked just like Lewis. I was a mommy, excited for this new adventure, and scared of the unknown.

Jack Milo McCarthy

August 20, 2003

10:52 pm

8lbs 1oz

20 1/2 inches

We are now a family, and not just a young married couple. You are only a day old and you can already see how exhausted we are.

This was our first day home. I remember just wanting to hold you all the time. I never wanted to let you go. You just melted into my chest, I wanted to freeze that moment in time and be able to come back to it everyday.