The First Born

I almost feel bad for the firstborn. They are a bit of an experiment. I sort of feel like I'm walking in the dark trying to find my way but I keep stubbing my toe. There is a bit of adventure with the first born too though. Well, actually, parenting in genral is an adventure. But with your first its all so new. There is the regular stuff you look foward to, like the smiles, laughs, saying mommy, walking, talking. But there are things you never really think of. The way comes home from school and is so excited to show you his papers and will write in an entire notebook in one night. Your first parent-teacher confernce that fills you so much pride. The first tooth he looses, that you just hold and remeber when it came in only 5 and 1/2 years ago. The way you watch him mature and grow when each sibling is added. He just knows he is getting older as he sees how much bigger he is than the others. He just smiles and looks at you and shakes his head while his little brother tries to do something impossible. The way he cares for them, but then the way he terrorises them too. I really don't know what I'm doing at all. I'm just fumbling through the dark, but he is teaching me so much about myself, and I'm only hoping I'm teaching him along the way too.